Good Evening from the Underground Bunker here in Upstate New York. It's December 22, 2011 at 0233 hrs and I am lying in bed here on the mountain and I can hear the wind blowing outside. It's rather warm tonight my cell phone is stating its 52*F outside.
Been having some knee pain and back pain and already I am longing for the warm weather. I guess I can't complain because like I said for it being the end of December and only 52*F I will take it!...Thank you Lord!
I have been feeling scared lately for what?.. I cannot Say. It's just a prolonged melancholy feeling. It just takes over my mind and its hard to get rid of it. Is it depression?? Am I going through a mid life crisis?? Where is a mid life supposed to be??
I do not know but I want to feel better. I need my mental health to be good. Does anyone out there have any suggestions to get over this mindset?
It's a strange place I'm in. Some might look at my situation and say "what are you complaining about?" or "you got it great!" But like they say grass is always greener on the other side.
I could understand why the old man in the movie Shawshank Redemption took his life. He was so used to being on the inside of the prison that when he was finally freed he did not know what to do with himself. That's a terrible lost feeling.
Feeling Scared is the worst feeling in the world. Just want to sleep! Eyes starting to feel heavy now....Good sign. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. If the good Lord's willing.
-Blogger X
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I'm Scared
Friday, December 16, 2011
Life
Good Afternoon from the Underground Bunker here on the Mountain in Upstate New York.
Today is December 16, 2011 at 1453 hrs. I am not listening to any of my radio transmitters right now. I'm just lying on my bed and looking out my window with my thoughts racing in my head.
The weather is 42*F outside and grey skies are above me and it feels like rain but quite possible can turn to snow if the temperature drops a little more.
Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Does it end when we die? Yesterday I wrote about the Blind Man in John 9 and maybe in that passage and like many passages in the Bible it shows us that we must believe. We should wash the clay away and open our eyes. The miracles that Jesus performed were definite works of God and by no human being. Our faith must be established through him. We must focus our mind and bodies.
Our brain and body are the vehicles in which we are given to navigate in this physical world but FAITH in God is the fuel that drives us to become better people. As I am getting older I realize that life isn't about getting the things we "want" because once we get them it does not fulfill you. Life is about being happy and loving the ones you are with and just being a good person with high morals and integrity. I believe this life is like "boot camp" and only the strong willed and faithful survive.
We are here not for a test because think about it why does God need to test us? He knows the answers!! The book of life has those who are chosen already written in it but some are not ready yet. Just like when you put something in an oven to cook, it is "not ready to serve". The thing you put in in the beginning of the cooking stage is the same as the end of the cooking stage but when the bell rings to the oven the meal is "ready to serve!". And also with God there is no such thing as a timer so it could take a persons whole life or it could take a split second after conception in the womb.
If you think about it for some people training and " being ready to serve" or "being in boot camp" is the only thing that is plausible. Positions or Jobs which deal with human life, money or even the Arts (Military,Police,Dr,Lawers,Stocks Brokers,Musicians) are highly trained in their craft and go through vigorous training and schooling.
And sometimes a genius comes along and debunks that train of thought and have no need for training and this is because their talents are God given. These persons who are genius at what they do is a reminder to us that God can do all things at all times and sometimes for the chosen training is not needed because they are blessed from the beginning with "God given talents".
Just was thinking and decided to write. Like always, stay safe and be smart. Thanks for reading my blog.
-Blogger X
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The Blind Man
Well my friends 2011 is approaching its end and we are looking at the new year of 2012! Is this the beginning of the end of the world as we know it? We shall soon see!
I have not been writing on my Blog because I have been reading and studying the Bible for the past couple of days. Like many people I started to read the Bible but never finished mainly because I did not have a good starting point or references to help me. I felt like I started in the middle of a story even when I started at Genesis 1. The Bible has to be the words of God because of how all 66 books feel like one. I admit that if you are not focused you cannot find it but if you put your mind to reading the Word you will definitely find your way. Believe me just give it a chance and you will be enlightened to who God is and what our purpose is. In my opinion it is best to start with the four Gospels. Read John,Luke,Matthew,Mark in that order and proceed reading the New Testament. I feel it is better to know Jesus and his ministry before you embark on Genesis and the Old Testament.
In my reading of John 9: 1-38 the "Blind Man" shows the utmost faith in the midst of cruel judgment and ridicule from the Pharisees. Now the man was blind his whole life until Jesus gave him sight. The lord spat on on the ground and made clay with his saliva and he put the clay on the Blind man eyes and after the blind man washed it off he had his sight. This is just the beginning for the Blind Man. His neighbors whom he lived with his whole life did not believe it was him saying "Is this not he who sat and begged?" and "He looks like him" and all the while the Blind Man said "I am he". (I feel when a person has changed his life and accepts Jesus Christ not even his neighbors will understand or recognize them) When the Blind Man told them who had healed him they brought him to the Pharisees. Here is where the strength in faith comes in. Now you must understand that in those days people feared the Pharisees.
When the Blind Man who eyes were opened was asked how his eyes were opened and he said to them "He put clay on my eyes and I washed it off and I see". You must have faith in order to see. The funny thing is the Pharisees did not believe he was blind so they got his parents to testify and they were afraid and they said "We know that this is our son, and he was born blind; but by what means he now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not know. He is of age ask him. He will speak for himself."
The Pharisees called Jesus a sinner but he answered-"He did not know, all he knew is that he was blind and now he can see." Now when the Pharisees asked him again this is when he proclaims his faith and was not frightened. He answered "I told you already, and you did not listen. why do you want to hear it again? Do you also want to become his disciples?" WOW to be bold to the Pharisees in those days took a strong backbone.
The Blind Man who now sees also told the Pharisees that God does not hear sinners but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does his will, He hears him. "IF THIS MAN WERE NOT FROM GOD, HE COULD NOT DO NOTHING."
The Pharisees then cast him out saying "This man was born in sin and now he is teaching us?" This man who was blind and now sees was filled with the Spirit and was not afraid to speak his mind to the so called "mighty" Pharisees. When I read this passage I feel Jesus opens your eyes when you are ready to wash off the clay of disbelieve and sin and when you can see his light you are truly born again!
Merry Christmas everyone be safe and thank you for reading my blog.
Blogger X